bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
