I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize