Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Life is so much better after having sex.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
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I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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