so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
