Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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