i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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