hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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