I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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