If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
