just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
