it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
