I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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