wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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