so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
