I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
