so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
