We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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