just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
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I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
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I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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