I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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