Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
