I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
