you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
We're too hungover to prance.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
