I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
