Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
