There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
