I wish my penis had an off switch
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize