I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
