no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
