Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
