I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize