Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
