I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
