No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize