another moral hangover. fuck.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
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He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
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I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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