I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
