I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
