THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Help. Why am I so naked?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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