Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
pop tarts are not kleenex
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
