he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
where are you?
Hypothermia
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
