Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
