i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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