apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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