I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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