I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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