you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
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well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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