You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
My vagina is very pro this idea
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize