I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
