Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
