Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
