it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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