I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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