...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
