remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He had one of those small greek statue penises
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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