She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
