omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He did a backflip because drugs
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
