her vagine was all disorganized.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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