I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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