dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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