Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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