I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
