I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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